My Goodbye
by Narfy
Summary: [one shot] What were Marge's thoughts before she taped over the wedding video in the movie?


**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Simpson's.

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They say that many marriages are filled with ups and downs, the ups you remember with great fondness yet the downs you dread every time you think about them even before they happen. My mind is filled with that dread right now that I can barely stand it as I watch Homer walk away from our cabin toward the local bar. He's being selfish again, only caring about himself and not about what is going to happen to all our friends in a matter of days.

We all saw it on TV, a new gorge was opening but this one is not natural, it was once a city, our original home of Springfield where our family, friends and neighbors were all trapped in thanks to Homer. They tried to kill us but thanks to Maggie's sink hole filled sandbox we escaped.

Right now I feel somewhat responsible, I feel I need to save them, make everything right again by cleaning up the mess he made. I often have to talk Homer into fixing what he started, I forgive him afterward and we never speak of it again. This time is different though, Homer won't fix it and now Springfield is doomed if we don't tell anyone.

But would I leave Homer just to warn someone of what the government is going to do to Springfield? I look down at the kids; all three of them seem to be thinking the same thing I am.

"Mom, do you think Dad will change his mind?" Lisa asks, her eyes looking quite misty. I knew she was thinking about her new friend she met, the one who had the same interests as she did.

"I don't know, you can never tell with your father," I said as I walked away from the window and stood in the middle of the living room.

Even though the room had a sofa and chairs, it still felt empty as if there was really no purpose here.

"Why don't we run now while he's gone, he's never going to listen and I bet he would like it living all alone without us," said Bart. Typical Bart, he hasn't been close to Homer in a while ever since Ned Flanders helped him after that skateboarding incident.

"I really don't know Bart," I said as I walked away from the living room and back to my room. I didn't want to show my emotions in front of my kids, I needed to be strong in front of them. I had to think.

I sat on the bed, looking at the blank wall in front of me. So many thoughts and emotions were filling my head. Should I leave with the kids to help Springfield? Should I try to talk sense into Homer again? Would Homer listen? How would the kids feel if they never saw their father again? Could we move on? I didn't even realize that I was crying until I felt a tear running down my cheek.

I had fought with Homer before but I have never felt this much anguish. He could set things right, I knew he could, but his ego was holding it back. If he was still stuck in that town I know he would find a way to get himself out but since he's not there, he's not doing anything. I can't believe he can be that selfish.

I take a big sigh and rub my eyes of the tears. I look up at the closet and see our wedding tape sitting there next to a pair of my shoes. I pick it up and look at it before deciding to put it in the VCR.

I guess I was the only one who had ever watched it since Homer never knew we had it. I remember that a nice usher taped our wedding in that tiny chapel across the state line. He sold it to us for five dollars afterward and I've kept it in the keepsake cupboard ever since.

Silently I watched as we did the quick ceremony together, exchanging our vows and ending it all with our loving embrace. I had never cried so hard after seeing that. Then the tape moved on to the reception which took place a week later back in Springfield. An old friend of mine taped almost everything, from the cutting of the cake to the dance where I told Homer I loved him dearly and that I would never leave him. He seemed more loving then, more willing to take care of me and help me in a crisis. Whatever happened to that man I once loved?

I couldn't watch it any more and rewound it, as it went back to the beginning I turned back to the closet and saw a box that contained a new camcorder Homer bought about a month ago. He had planned to use it for the kids, watching them grow up in our new home, but he hadn't even broken the tape yet. I guess I would be the first to use it.

I took the camcorder out of the box and checked to make sure it worked and to make sure I knew what I was doing. I didn't need instructions; a child could use this thing if they wanted to. Once I knew it worked I grabbed the wedding tape and walked back into the living room.

Bart, Lisa, and Maggie were sitting there watching a late night show when they saw me walk in. They all looked at me with wonder in their eyes.

"What's the plan mom?" asked Bart.

"Go to your rooms and pack your things as quickly as you can, we will be leaving shortly," I said. My voice was strained from all the crying I did and I knew the kids could hear it but they said nothing.

Quietly the kids got up and went to their rooms to pack while I set up the tape, yes I was taping over the wedding video but Homer wouldn't care, this was the end and if he didn't want to help then he could live the rest of his life alone. Happy as he could be, drinking as much beer as he wanted, and eating until he exploded.

The camcorder was finally set at the right angle and I pressed record before sitting down on the sofa bracing myself for my goodbye.

"….Okay here goes…"

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A/N: Well there's my one shot, hope you all thought that was okay. Sorry its so short, couldn't make it any longer. I know it probably wasn't the best but I really wanted to write this. Please review if you can but please do not flame, if there were problems then tell me what I need to work on. Thanks for reading. 


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